Sunday, April 08, 2012

on having a new baby

I was super worried about coming home to William with a new baby. I think that's a common "mother concern" when you have more than one child. I also worried I wouldn't love this baby like I love William, which I'm told is another common concern. I have some very wise people in my life who said a few things that helped me so I thought I'd share them in case any of you are about to bring home another baby.
It's hard to imagine loving someone as much as you love your first child. My friend put it best when she said that you kind of "fall in love" with your baby. It does feel like that and so it's hard to imagine feeling that way again. My mom has eleven children and when I asked her how she could love so many of us the same, she said, "It's amazing how your love doesn't divide - it multiplies." One of my friend's husband said that being a parent is God's way of giving us the opportunity to understand His infinite love for all His children. Everyone said that I would love this baby as much as I love William and I believed them but I didn't really get how it would feel to love like a mother - similarly to how I felt when I was pregnant for the first time. Once the surrealness passed of having another child, and when I was able to bring Fritz home from the hospital, I felt that mother love wash over me. This is my baby too! I am completely over the moon, head over heels, obsessed in love with him. And seeing my two boys together sealed the deal in my heart.
My other concern was how William would react to Fritz. Luckily, we've been able to ease him into the idea by splitting attention between him and the baby since David has been home for a week and my mom will be here next week. So far he loves the baby. He kisses him, wants to hold him, wants to look at him, wants to sit by him and is generally excited by him. I am nervous about when I'm home on my own with the boys and William wants me to do something for him while I am nursing. One of my friends gave me some good advice the other day. She said that a toddler notices and understands when you choose the baby over them. The baby doesn't. So even though my natural instinct is to drop everything and handle the crying infant, if it's not urgent, then the baby can wait a minute. It'll be hard to do but I think it's an excellent point and it breaks my heart to think of William feeling like I'm choosing someone over him.

The best part of having another baby (other than the delicious smell, the newborn squeaks, the lip quivers, the snuggles, the warmth - should I go on?) is that I feel like a more complete family . . . for now. :)

5 comments :

  1. Swoon, pure bliss. It is crazy how your heart just grows.

    Blessings to you and your family during this exciting time!

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  2. ooh, that IS good advice! your little family is so sweet! I want to come back and play soon!

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  3. Those are all the same concerns I had when Hudson was born. You put it perfectly when you said that you kind of "fall in love" with your baby. It's amazing how your love can multiply with each child, Fritz is absolutely adorable! I want to meet him in person!

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  4. What precious pictures! (I love the smiles on both of your little guys!!!) I'm so happy for you and your beautiful growing family!!!! The love that you feel is definitely a gift from our Heavenly Father -- and it will only keep growing for all eternity!

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  5. Hi, you don't know me but I do read your blog and I think Fritz is beautiful. And William is as adorable as ever. I love his big brown eyes! I have three small boys, and something I have found really, really helpful with a new little one is to help the older child feel a sense of responsibility for the baby. Ask him to help with anything you can think of (bring me a diaper or blanket, sing the baby a song, etc.) He will feel involved and that he has an important role in caring for the baby, and that will make him love the baby even more!

    Plus, the fact that you are aware of William's feelings tells me you will do great. He will feel your awareness, too.

    Congratulations!

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